How to Keep Your Co-Parenting Communication Amicable
Maintaining healthy communication can be challenging if you have recently moved out or have been separated from your ex-partner for years. However, effective co-parenting is likely a top priority if you have children. Your focus should be on taking positive actions for the benefit of your child and not seeking vengeance against your ex-partner. It’s a significant adjustment but establishing a new way of communicating with your ex and talking to your children is vital for providing them stability and maintaining a close relationship. Let’s explore some tips to facilitate this healthy communication.
1. Start Navigating and Defining this New Relationship
Often, parents have issues communicating post-separation because they seek the same relationship they had before they were separated. Your communications with your ex-partner must shift from familiar and emotional to civil, polite, calm, and respectful. Make offers, not demands, and start conversations positively by asking for your co-parent’s opinions. Working together on solutions can help propel you to trust each other in this new venture.
2. Keep the Conversation Focused on the Children
Parenting is a journey filled with countless decisions that shape a child’s upbringing. It is vital to approach these decisions collaboratively with your co-parent, focusing on unity and the specific matter. By doing so, you can avoid reopening old wounds and reigniting past conflicts, which may only lead to frustration for both parties.
Opt for concise, polite, and professional messages when communicating with your co-parent. This approach minimizes emotional tension and effectively conveys the intended message. However, it’s essential to acknowledge that this method may sometimes escalate tensions. In such cases, maintaining composure is crucial. Additionally, considering the use of a parenting app to document all communications can be beneficial for future reference, should the need arise.
3. Embrace Flexibility
Differences in parenting styles will inevitably arise in the challenging process of co-parenting after a separation. It’s crucial to recognize that expecting total control over the other parent is unrealistic. Don’t sweat the small stuff. If you disagree about important issues like medical surgery or the choice of school for your child, by all means, keep the discussion going. But if you want your child in bed by 7:30 and your ex says 8:00, let it go and save your energy for the more significant issues.
It’s beneficial for both parents to strive to empathize with each other’s viewpoints and be open to compromise. You will also need to come around to your ex-spouse’s point of view as often as they come around to yours. It may not always be your first choice, but compromise allows you both to “win” and makes both of you more likely to be flexible in the future.
4. Covet your Child’s Happiness
Your child should not have to sacrifice so that you can have the life you want; you must make sacrifices so your children can have the life they deserve. Having two parents who respect each other and can communicate effectively is a vital step in that direction. Sometimes, it may feel like you are throwing away your pride or convenience, but if the yield is a safe and nurturing environment for your children, the sacrifice is likely worth it.
5. Listen to your Children
In situations where your children may be affected by conflict, it’s important to remember that depending on their age, they may want to engage in discussions with you or your co-parent. When having such conversations, it’s beneficial to keep your explanations simple, avoid assigning blame, be honest without going into explicit details, and most importantly, lend an empathetic ear to your child. Giving your child the opportunity to express themselves and feel understood can make a significant difference during this challenging time.
To learn more about How to Keep Your Co-Parenting Communication Amicable, please contact Beresford Booth at info@beresfordlaw.com or by phone at (425) 776-4100.