Common Divorce Myths Debunked
Divorce can be a complex and emotionally charged process. It is often an unpleasant subject. Unfortunately, many myths and misconceptions surround divorce, which often lead to more confusion and anxiety. Then you add in “googling” divorce to unleash a flood of information. While this information can appear to offer some relief, there are quite a few “facts” about divorce that are not facts at all and cause a person unnecessary stress about the process.
Whether you are going through a divorce or supporting a friend or loved one through theirs, it can be very helpful to have realistic expectations from the beginning. It is my hope to debunk a few of the most common divorce myths to assist you in navigating the process with a bit of clarity and confidence.
Myth 1: Divorce is Always a Bad Thing
In my experience as an attorney, while divorce is often a difficult experience, even when amicable, it is not always a negative outcome. Oddly enough, divorce can lead to increased happiness and well-being for both parties involved. I have seen many couples regroup and find a new beginning with their relationship. The “decoupling” can lead to healthier coparenting when kids are involved and create a healthier living environment in the split households. If a marriage is no longer fulfilling or healthy, divorce can be a positive step towards a better future.
*Note: I am not advocating for divorce. I am only acknowledging there can be benefits.
Myth 2: Divorce is Expensive
Yes, you are splitting households and inevitably this will cause changes to each party’s accessibility to funds. However, the cost of divorce can vary significantly depending on various factors, such as the complexity of the case, the need for legal representation, if children are involved or not and the complexity of the division of assets.
While divorce can certainly be expensive, there are ways to minimize costs, such as mediation and an agreement to work together even when discovery is necessary. For example, you can work together with exchanging documents (“Stipulated Exchange of Discovery”) without compromising your position. The decision to “work together” does not mean waiving your rights under the law or even the inability to reach partial agreements and litigate the remaining the issues.
Myth 3: Filing First Gives You an Advantage
Filing for divorce first doesn’t necessarily give you an advantage. I tell clients all the time, “no one wins an award for filing first.” Similar to there being little to no advantage to evading service of documents. Both spouses have equal rights and responsibilities during the divorce process. It’s important to consult with an experienced family law attorney to understand these rights and options. It is more important to have an accurate and comprehensive Response to a Petition if you find yourself responding to a divorce. Additionally, once a Petition and Response is filed, the Respondent can ask that the case not be dismissed, if a Petitioner attempts to do so before the conclusion of the case.
Myth 4: You Can’t Have a Good Relationship with Your Ex-Spouse After Divorce
Divorce can invoke negative images in our brains – fighting couples, fierce stand-offs in a courtroom, fights over custody, and the like. While it may seem challenging, it’s possible to maintain a positive and respectful relationship with your ex-spouse, especially if you have children together. Effective communication, compromise, and a focus on the best interests of your children can help you navigate co-parenting successfully. While “messy” breakups can and do happen, amicable divorces aren’t uncommon. Of course, it may also require time and for you both to seek therapy to heal from the split. Nevertheless, I do see plenty of nonchaotic and “unmessy” divorces.
It is important to know that contested divorce does not necessarily mean that one spouse wants a divorce while the other person does not. Most of the time, it is as simple as a couple not agreeing on every single term of the divorce.
Our Compassionate Attorneys are Here to Help
Divorce is a life-altering decision, no matter the reason it is happening. At Beresford Booth our exceptional family law attorneys are committed to providing legal representation that is both compassionate and dependable.
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Beresford Booth lawyers are experienced, dedicated professionals, prepared to answer your questions and guide you through the process based on your needs and goals. As a result of our experience, we provide you practical advice and set reasonable expectations for the process. Together, we develop and implement a case strategy based on your goals. Beresford Booth is a Primerus law firm. Primerus is an international society of top-rated independent law firms.
Family law disputes can be stressful and emotional. Our family law group can take some of the weight off your shoulders. Call to (425) 776-4100 to request a consultation.
