Social Media Do’s and Don’ts in a Divorce
Divorce is stressful enough without adding social media drama to the mix, and unfortunately, social media can make it even more complicated as what you post online can impact your case. The safest rule of thumb is simple: when in doubt, don’t post. Photos, comments, posts, videos, all can be used against you in a family law matter.
A seemingly inconsequential post can become a powerful tool for or against you. If you’re involved in divorce litigation, it’s important to think carefully before posting. Here are some important do’s and don’ts to help keep you from making a social media blunder.
The Do’s: What You SHOULD Do on Social Media During a Divorce
You may hear recommendations to unplug completely during a divorce or parenting dispute. While this is an option, you don’t necessarily have to totally refrain from social media use. There are other best practices you can use to protect yourself.
- Pause before posting. Before you share anything, ask yourself whether the post could be misinterpreted or whether it could be used against you due to the content. If you have any doubt as to either of these two questions, don’t post it or comment on a questionable post.
- Stay neutral and respectful. Always maintain a professional and respectful tone in your social media use. This is good practice to maintain after the divorce is final. Avoid any sarcasm, passive-aggressive comments, or heated exchanges. Remember that anything you post can be introduced in court. Also, what are you even set to gain from a heated exchange over social media?
- Adjust your privacy settings. While privacy settings are not foolproof, they can help limit who sees your content. Review your settings regularly. Anything you share can still be screenshotted, screen-recorded, or forwarded to others who you may not intend to view your content.
- Encourage family and friends to be mindful. Ask your friends and family not to post about your divorce. Even well-intentioned posts can be misconstrued.
- Assume everything you post can be seen. Even if your account is set to be “private,” screenshots can be taken and shared.
- Review your past social media activity. Take the time to review your accounts and revisit old posts, photos, and comments. If you find anything potentially damaging, do not delete it. Instead, mention it to your attorney.
- Consult your attorney. During the pendency of your case, if you are questioning a post, consult with your attorney.
The Don’ts: What You Should AVOID on Social Media During a Divorce
Certain social media behaviors can significantly damage your credibility and potentially harm your case. Avoid these common mistakes.
- Don’t delete or destroy relevant posts. Once your case begins, deleting posts can be viewed as the destruction of evidence. Always consult your attorney about any items you believe should be removed from your account.
- Don’t post about your divorce. Avoid posting about your spouse, the court, your attorney, or the details of your case. Emotional posts can be taken out of context and used against you. Even seemingly harmless comments may become evidence.
- Don’t share anything that could be misconstrued. Even photos that you thought were innocent, or jokes that you didn’t mean in a negative way, can be twisted and used against you in court.
- Don’t speak negatively about your spouse. Keep any venting offline. I tell clients to phone a friend or vent to your therapist. Do not publicize your negative thoughts. Ensure your online presence is professional and courteous, particularly in a custody dispute.
- Don’t publicize a new relationship. Posting about a new partner too soon can raise questions about your judgment and your priorities. It is also more than likely going to set off the opposing party.
- Don’t rely solely on privacy settings. Even with strict privacy settings, your posts are never truly private. There are several avenues for your content to be introduced in court, including through mutual friends and screenshots.
A good rule of thumb is simple: if you wouldn’t want a judge to read your post aloud in court, don’t post it. Social media can be a valuable way to stay connected with friends and family, but during divorce litigation, discretion is often the best strategy. Taking a cautious approach online can help avoid unnecessary complications and allow your case to be decided on the facts that truly matter. When in doubt, don’t post, comment or like.
Author’s Note: This article is intended for educational purposes only and should not be considered legal advice. Every family law case is unique. If you have questions about mediation or your specific circumstances, consult an experienced family law attorney.
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