Collaborative Divorce: Why Use a Child Specialist in the Process?

As discussed in previous blogs, the Collaborative Divorce process utilizes not only attorneys, but also various other types of professionals, depending on the needs of the parties and their case. Below is a brief discussion of the role of the Child Specialist in the Collaborative Law divorce process and why they might be included.

Child Specialist

Almost all collaborative divorces where there are children involved use a Child Specialist as part of their process. The Child Specialist has mental health training related to children and brings this expertise to bear in order to help both children and parents through divorce. Often children suffer a great deal in divorces but may have fewer skills and be less capable of expressing or coping with the emotions and trauma of divorce. Understandably, parents are often most concerned about the effects of divorce on their children, and the Child Specialist can help to alleviate this fear in creative and effective ways.

The Child Specialist is charged with bringing forward the children’s voices, including emotions, concerns, worries, hopes, and wishes for the future, as well as their perspective on the family issues and dynamics. Child Specialists provide a safe place for children to bring these concerns and validate that all of them are normal feelings when faced with the changes inherent in divorce. Child Specialists generally respect client confidentiality when it comes to children’s feelings and will ask the children’s permission to share their views and communications. Child Specialists are not there to make reports or gather information for court—their role is to help children through the experience of divorce and the challenges of the divorce transition. Finally, Child Specialists are there to help parents assist their kids so the divorce process is hopefully not about disintegrating family relationships, but about finding new ways to be family together.  

How Does the Child Specialist Do All This?

Child Specialists have a variety of processes they utilize to work with children and parents. Often, they will meet with parents first, giving guidance on how to tell their children, children’s common reactions, how to support their children and listen to them, and choosing how to move forward in the best ways for their children. After meeting with the parents and gathering information as well as giving guidance, Child Specialists may meet with the children for the first time, either before or after the parents have talked with them. In this initial meeting, Child Specialists gather information about how the children are coping with the situation, their needs and questions, and discuss with them the process at the appropriate level of understanding. Child Specialists may then meet with the parents again, this time to share information about the children and to offer guidance on what will work best for the children. Often this stage includes the divorce coach, and work may be done on the parenting plan or other issues related to moving forward in beneficial ways for the children.

The Child Specialist is a valued and necessary member of the collaborative divorce team, who helps children and parents think creatively about the future, helps children communicate their feelings, hopes and fears, and brings the children’s viewpoints to the table to be considered as the family moves forward together into a future that is as safe and happy as possible for all involved. This allows the children to flourish and grow.

Benefits of Collaborative Divorce

Spouses who have gone through the Collaborative Divorce process in their dissolutions report higher levels of satisfaction with the outcome of their dissolution, better relationships with their spouses, and being able to co-parent together in more positive and healthy ways for their children. Collaborative Divorce is a holistic approach that provides an extremely structured way for spouses to work through difficult conflicts with the help of highly trained professionals, and the underpinning of this process is the Participation Agreement between the parties. Parenting issues, divisions of assets, spousal support—all aspects of dissolution can be handled in the collaborative law process, and the success rate is very high when trained professionals engage in the process with the clients and their families. Collaborative Divorce is also generally much less expensive than litigation and trial, and the outcomes are voluntary and not imposed from the top down, as when a judge hands down a decision.

Interested?

If you are interested in Collaborative Divorce, email us at info@beresfordlaw.com, or give us a call at 425-776-4100.

BERESFORD BOOTH PLLC has made this content available to the general public for informational purposes only. The information on this site is not intended to convey legal opinions or legal advice.